The Girl Who Could Fast-Forward Time – Disturbing 80s TV Drama (IDENTIFIED!)

In the various forums on which weird TV of the Haunted Generation is discussed, many obscure and long-forgotten gems of British kids’ TV’s disturbing past come up. While many long-lost shows have been rediscovered this way, there is one that’s been enquired about on several occasions that has yet to be identified. And it’s got many of us curious to find it, because it sounds outright disturbing, if not frankly terrifying…

From the recollections of the people who’ve posted about it, this was a children’s TV drama, broadcast some time around the late 80s or early 90s. The description of this TV show is as follows:

A young girl comes into possession of a TV remote control device, that she can use to control the world around her, and fast-forward or rewind time. She uses this to her advantage, fast-forwarding through boring bits in life, putting life on pause etc. Then one day she gets tickets to see her favourite band in concert (some viewers remember this being Howard Jones, others claim it was Wham!), and can’t wait for the day of the concert to arrive. So she uses the device to fast forward to the day of the concert. But, while life is on fast forward, the girl falls asleep, and eventually wakes up as a decrepit old woman, looking into the mirror and seeing herself ancient and decrepit. She quickly reaches for the remote and tries to rewind back to her youth, but accidentally hits fast forward and crumbles into a skeleton. The last shot is of her looking in the mirror as she becomes a skeleton.

Quite a few people remember this TV show, but no one seems to remember what it was called, and whether it was part of an anthology show or a one-off in its own right. One viewer recalls it having Alison Bettles, who played Fay Lucas in Grange Hill, in a supporting role. And several of the people who remember it recall watching it in school, raising the question of whether it was targeted at school pupils, like the legendary Interference.

Whatever it was, it seems to have been a moral tale warning against wishing one’s life away – but what exactly was this show, and is it still out there anywhere?

UPDATE, 10/09/24

Thanks to John Mawdsley, a member of the Facebook group Weird British TV Memories (70s-90s), we have a lead and a potential title for this!

John recalls this program as being titled “Cold Feet” and that it aired on BBC2 some time in the morning:

“I remember watching this when it aired and checking the tv guide for the name. It was aired on BBC Two during the morning and I recall it was called “Cold Feet”. Any searches I’ve done have always resulted in the other TV show. I could be wrong but I always remembered it as Cold Feet.”

Thanks to John for this information! As yet, predictably, searches online have only shown up results for the far more well-known 90s series also called Cold Feet – but now we have a possible title for this long-elusive piece of lost media, this should greatly help our search.

UPDATE, 25/11/24

VERY PROMISING LEAD!

Thanks to our reader SimonT in the comments to this article, we now have what looks like a very promising lead for this elusive drama. Simon has done some digging, and it seems very possible this was an episode of the Thames TV schools programme Middle English titled “Fast Forward”.

Simon’s recollection is as follows:

“I’m almost certain that it starred Roger McGough doing a Peter Sellars routine in multiple roles (including as a metal-head biker whose favourite bands included ‘Lead Balloon’ and ‘Spiky Sausage’).

Imdb sadly hasn’t thrown up much info, but Roger McGough was involved with a Thames TV programme called ‘Middle English’, which ran throughout the 80s, providing a mix of documentaries and dramas. This feels like a really likely candidate, for two reasons: firstly, we definitely watched at least one other episode from the same series in school (an animated adaptation of ‘The Shrinking of Treehorn’ and secondly, there’s an episode from series 11 (1986, which totally fits the time-line for when I saw this) called . . . ‘Fast Froward’. There’s no other info out there at the moment, sadly, but this feels like a very definite maybe.”

This looks like a very likely candidate. The Broadcast For Schools website has a list of Middle English episodes that features a brief snippet of information on the episode “Fast Forward”:

“Kurt, Mungo, B.P. and Me (spring 1984), Fast Forward (autumn 1986) and Mistaken Identity (autumn 1990), 3 separate plays about the experiences of a poet, written by and featuring Roger McGough”

This would corroborate Simon’s memory of Roger McGough starring in this production as well as the date, so this looks to be our most promising lead yet. It would certainly make sense that this production came from the same series that brought us the classic and terrifying Interference (1985), but as yet there is no further information online about “Fast Forward” and a YouTube search yields no results.

UPDATE 07/12/24 – IDENTIFIED!!!

With special thanks to Paul Rhodes, a member of the Weird British TV Memories (70s-90s) group, we have now identified this piece of lost media for sure – we know now for certain that as SimonT suggested, it was an episode of Middle English titled “Fast Forward”, which aired on September 23 1986 and was repeated on September 25. Below is the proof, from a Times Educational Supplement from back in the day:

TRANSCRIPT OF THE ABOVE:

“David Self Looks at Thames Television’s ‘Middle English’

This term has seen a justified repeat of Jan Mark’s Izzy. Next term (September 23 and 25) there is a new play by Roger McGough, Fast Forward. Both sophisticated and accessible, it is also very funny. The central character, a 13-year-old girl, is played mainly by the camera. She idolizes the pop star Howard Jones and, finding the rest of life boring, she conjures up a remote-control unit that allows her to “fast forward” through those bits she finds especially tedious, for example, PE lessons and being told off by the head. Both the head and the PE mistress (and other characters) are played by McGough himself. He is especially good as the head, offering visitors paperclips to fidget with as if they were sweets.”

So going from the sound of it, Fast Forward was a mostly comedic children’s play with a particularly dark and twisted ending, which no doubt shocked a lot of children who viewed it at the time.

Huge thanks to Simon and Paul for identifying this piece of lost media that we and many other enthusiasts of the Haunted Generation have been seeking for a long time. Now we just need to find if any recordings of it still exist – and if so, does anyone have a copy they can upload, or know where we can find one? If so, please comment below or email us!